


Maybe if I tell myself enough

by Lollipop_Panda



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Requited Love, Unrequited Love, and KonoSemi is Good and Pure, because I'm a sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 09:32:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15140192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lollipop_Panda/pseuds/Lollipop_Panda
Summary: What’s the saying again?‘Fake it ‘til you make it’?





	Maybe if I tell myself enough

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Bonus Round 2 of Sportsfest - Theme: quotes
> 
> This was originally going to be full angst, but thankfully Semi is always here to save Konoha's (and my) day. 
> 
> Original prompt:
> 
> Maybe if I tell myself enough  
> Maybe if I do  
> I'll get over you  
> Maybe if I tell myself enough  
> Maybe if I do  
> I'll get all over  
> You
> 
> \- Over You, Ingrid Michaelson

Akinori sits in class, looking through the window, pen in hand, staring at nothing, until his gaze lands on class 2-6 on the training field and suddenly he’s staring at something - someone.

What’s the saying again? 

‘Fake it ‘til you make it’? 

It’s a shame they don’t give any time indications to go with it. How long is he supposed to fake it exactly for it to be effective? It would help if he even had just a vague guideline. 

He’s so tired, exhausted even. Not physically, no, physically he’s almost in peak form. But emotionally ? 

Not so much. 

It’s been going on for almost two years now, ever since he first caught sight of dark curly hair and forest green eyes, and he can’t wait for it to be over. Maybe once he graduates and he doesn’t have to see him day in and day out, it’ll be more bearable. 

Maybe the pain of it will ease off, give him time to pick up the pieces and try to put them back together. 

He’s not sure that’s really feasible, with how small the pieces are getting, smashed and shattered smaller and smaller every time he sees Akaashi interact with Bokuto, both pairs of eyes lit with a fire that sets his own being to ruins. The dusty glass of his heart left blackened by a second hand flame. 

Akinori faces forward, looking to the blackboard, and tells himself he’ll get over him,

Maybe, if he tells himself enough, he’ll get over him. 

-

He’s graduated and finally, _finally_ he should be healing, giving his heart reprieve. 

Then why is he not healing ? 

Maybe it’s because of the messages. Of the fact that they all still stay in contact over the break. Go out as a group, and that here, outside of school, Akaashi and Bokuto are so openly in love it hurts. 

-

Somehow, he makes it through the break, all the way to his new life in college, a heart shaped hole in his chest and glass in his hands.

He breathes a little easier, his heart is still only an echo of itself, ground into fine dust as it is, but at least it’s stopped shattering over and over. 

He makes it through his first year, and though his heart remains but a lifeless powder, he feels better, more alive than he has in a long time, Akaashi only a phantom pain now. 

But then someone new comes along, someone he bumps into, who introduces himself as Semi Eita, who smiles and asks for directions. The feeble ashes of Konoha’s heart shimmer as it beats once again. 

He lay awake and thinks of hazel eyes and pale, dark tipped hair, of a gentle voice and kind smile. The pieces of his heart ache and he wishes this cycle would stop. 

Maybe, if he tells himself enough, he’ll get over him. 

-

There’s a fire in hazel eyes as they stare at him, a furnace that makes him forget about anything else. 

A fire directed at him, so hot, so blazing, so very intense and typically _Eita_ that it engulfs him, melts the shimmering glass of his heart where tender hands reforge it to their will, strong and shaped perfectly for one Semi Eita to cradle close and protect, leaving open the hole in his chest that happens to be the perfect size for Eita’s own heart.

Maybe, he’ll never have to get over him

\- 

Akinori leans against his kitchen counter, looking through the window, coffee in hand, staring at nothing, until his gaze is interrupted by a gentle hand under his chin and soft lips against his. 

What was the saying again? 

‘Until death do us part’

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
>    
> Feel free to come scream at me about the boys on [twitter](https://twitter.com/PocketoPanda) or [tumblr](http://lollipop-panda.tumblr.com/)


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